So what’s wrong with same-sex marriages? There is a lot wrong with same-sex marriages. And we need to get informed so that the trend toward acceptance of same-sex marriages can be reversed. What’s wrong with same-sex marriage? Let me give you some things to think about and then you decide.
Since a man cannot bear a child and a woman cannot bear a child without a man, same-sex couples are doomed to infertility unless extraordinary measures are taken. Lesbian couples can utilize in vitro fertilization but homosexuals can never bear children. Some same-sex couples can adopt a child and adoption is a wonderful thing. But children adopted by same-sex couples are not being put in the healthiest environment for upbringing. (This will be discussed further below.) Without the ability to reproduce same-sex couples are kept from one of the greatest blessings of God, to “be fruitful and multiply” (Gen. 1:28). This is self-imposed biological barrenness. It speaks of a self-centered deeper spiritual barrenness. It is the product of entering a relationship that was never intended to be.
I don’t believe in evolution but for those who do same-sex couples and same-sex attractions where reproduction is not possible leads to death of the species. For humans, marriage is designed for cohabitation and creating an environment where offspring can be birthed and nurtured. In a relationship where two of the same-sex are joined, reproduction is not possible and perpetuation of the human species is stifled. Now some might respond that there are too many people on this planet already, but on the basis of evolution same-sex attractions that lead to same-sex coupling is literally, a dead end. When Paul speaks to those who have been delivered from the dead sinful life he comments, “What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death” (Rom. 6:21). This is literally the case in same-sex marriages.
Matricide / Patricide
Homosexual and lesbian relationships that lead to same-sex marriages with children involved make an inherent statement that either of mother or a father are unnecessary. Same-sex couples may try to include people of the opposite gender in the lives of the children they raise, but the question children will inevitably raise is, “Why don’t I have a Mommy?” or “Why don’t I have a Daddy?” In the case of homosexual and lesbian same-sex marriages the importance of either Mother or Father will be diminished. There is a plethora of studies that show children need a Mother and a Father to grow and develop into healthy societally sound people. Same-sex marriage proponents can point to the exceptions where a Mother or Father have been sources of abuse for children. Studies also show that homosexuals and lesbians are frequently victims of such abuse. But that doesn’t change the fact that children biologically, statistically, emotionally and scripturally, need a Mommy and Daddy for optimal nurture. God designed families to include a Father and a Mother (Gen. 2:24).
Same-sex marriage is a question of morality. The word “morality” is defined as “a doctrine or system of moral conduct; particular moral principles or rules of conduct.” This definition raises the question of “What doctrine/teaching, system, principles or rules of conduct do we base morality on?” If mere popular consensus is the basis of our morality that can lead to some pretty immoral conduct. In the Middle Ages the Roman Catholic Church viewed inquisitions as morally acceptable. For Hitler and the German people and those sympathetic to their beliefs, Jews were viewed as subhuman and immoral simply because they were Jewish. There was a time when our nation viewed slavery as morally acceptable. Today in many Muslim nations public flogging, stoning, and severing limbs is accepted as moral. I could go on and on with examples of immorality based on human consensus. No, if we are to truly live by a moral standard we need to go beyond human consensus to a higher standard. That standard is the Bible.
Critiques point to the abuses of the so-called Church throughout history. I would agree that there has been a great deal of immorality perpetrated by people who claimed the name of Christian. But naming the name of Christian does not make a person a Christian. Jesus warned of false followers (Mat. 7:15-23). He spoke of tares amongst the wheat or people who would present themselves outwardly as true followers of Christ but inwardly would be empty and void of any spiritual life (Mat. 13:24-30). Indeed the Bible tells us there are people who have a form of religion but deny its power or its true substance (2 Tim. 3:5). Those who claim the name Christian and act in unchristlike ways are the epitome of immorality.
When we look at the Bible and properly exegete it there is no better or higher standard for morality. God says He exalts His word even above His own name! (Psalm 138:2). God has a great plan and life for those who love Him and He has revealed this by the Holy Spirit in His word (1 Cor. 2:9-14). The Bible is the product of God’s inspiration, or God literally breathing out His revelation. It is profitable for doctrine, which guides our morality. It is profitable for proving things true or false and for determining right and wrong and correcting those who disobey. The Bible is the standard for righteousness so that we can be complete and well equipped for every good work (cf. 2 Timothy 3:16-17).
The Bible categorizes homosexuality and lesbianism as a sin that needs to be repented of and refrained from (cf. Romans 1:21-32). It also states that by God’s grace through faith in Jesus Christ that God will give spiritual life by the indwelling Holy Spirit who is able to deliver and free the homosexual or lesbian from their sinful lifestyle (1 Cor. 6:9-11). The Bible does not speak of same-sex marriages but given the fact it defines homosexuality and lesbianism as a sin, any attempt at solemnizing or legitimizing such sinful relationships would be a compounding of that sin. Accepting same-sex marriage is lowering the moral standard in society not raising it. Same-sex marriage is immoral.
There is also the question of what the legalization of same-sex marriage will lead to. If same-sex marriage becomes the law of the land, it isn’t farfetched to see polygamy introduced for legalization too. Canada is already debating the legality of their anti-polygamy laws. With the moral standard lowered for same-sex marriages the idea of lowering or even eliminating the age of consent for children in sexual relationships will conceivably be put on the table (e.g. NAMBLA: North American Man/Boy Love Association). What next, relationships between people and animals? You may laugh, but such immorality is practiced by people (e.g. In New Delhi Selva Kumar was advised by an astrologer to marry a dog to break a curse; just Google People who marry animals).
But wouldn’t same-sex marriage strengthen and bring stability to society since two people are making a life commitment to each other? Marriage is a statement of commitment, of fidelity to a person. Fidelity means being faithful to a person emotionally, sexually, spiritually. It means a person will focus their affections on their spouse. It means a person will not venture outside of their marriage for sexual gratification. It means a person will facilitate their spouse’s spiritual health.
The state of Vermont has allowed civil unions since 2000. Studies show that only 50% homosexual men in civil unions and 34% of homosexual men in “committed relationships” feel sex outside marriage is acceptable. In the Netherlands HIV/AIDS studies to determine the number of partners of homosexuals and lesbians determined that homosexuals with a steady partner had on average eight sexual partners per year outside that relationship. Another study showed that the average lesbian has more partners in their lifetime than heterosexual women. The issue here is that monogamy and fidelity in marriages in society will be eroded by the addition of same-sex marriages. With marriages constantly under attack in society, same-sex marriage will further detract from this core institution of society.
In the Old Testament the southern kingdom of Judah experienced decline and ultimately defeat and captivity due to her king’s leading the people into moral decline. This did not excuse the people. They were culpable for this moral decline because they went along with it. Of evil king Ahaz it states:
2 Chronicles 28:19 - For the LORD brought Judah low because of Ahaz king of Israel, for he had encouraged moral decline in Judah and had been continually unfaithful to the LORD.
The legalization of same-sex marriage is a sign of moral decline in our nation. History shows that the collapse of kingdoms and nations are preceded by a decline in morality. America has been an incredibly blessed nation. It has a Christian heritage. But America has forsaken its heritage and is in decline. We see this in the decline in morality. There is hope.
That hope comes from God. The decline of Israel and Judah in scripture did not take God by surprise. When King Solomon inaugurated the Temple of God (the national symbol of God’s presence) with public prayer and sacrifice, God confirmed His acceptance with fire from heaven (2 Chron. 6-7). But more importantly, after the ceremony was completed God appeared to Solomon in the night and spoke to him of how to work through times of discipline and trial from the Lord due to the decline of the nation. It is in God’s words to Solomon that we see the familiar words:
2 Chronicles 7:14 - if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.
King Ahaz and the historical context of Judah testify to the failure of God’s leaders and people to humble themselves, pray, seek God’s face and repent of their wicked ways. There was no repentant prayer from them to God for Him to respond to. The consequence was captivity and exile; the loss of greatness and blessing.
Our history is not finished; yet. We are on the decline. Same-sex marriage and its legalization is evidence of that. But it’s not too late. If as a nation we humble ourselves to submit to God’s word, repent of our sinful ways and pray and seek His face, God will hear, forgive and heal our land. But that is the only way the decline can be corrected. If we persist in our sinful ways and continue down the road of moral decline, this nation will end up on the scrap heap of history.
There are those who say legalization of same-sex marriage is a good thing, a liberating thing, even a moral thing. They are as Paul describes, “having their understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God, because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart; who, being past feeling, have given themselves over to lewdness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.” (Eph. 4:18-19) There are those who ask, “What’s wrong with same-sex marriage?” Tell them. Speak God's truth in His love (Eph. 4:15; Rom. 5:5). But tell them.